friday.

sometimes life gets serious.
a neighbor of ours killed himself today, out in the sunshine, in his garden.
It's so easy to get caught up in this world.
a modern universe.
i am still so scared of this all. not even twenty.
i don't want to be.
I think when i imagine a heaven, it's nothing far from reach.
nothing i have to die to see. Which, to me, makes it harder.
Feeling the way i feel connects me to all of history
it's amazing and somber
I don't want to believe that we all disappear.
someday i will feel stupid for writing this.
i will become detached from it all again.
why am i putting this in a blog post?
There are so many moments we can recreate.
putting songs on repeat...
repeat
repeat
repeat
but everything real, never happens twice.