past me.

i found this note under my bed at my parents house. While funny, i wish i could remember exactly why i wrote this.

currently

" you can be attracted things that aren't beautiful"

i feel great.

the argument

i can't remember when, but we argued as to whether "fuckin" and "muffin" actually rhymed.
it looks good on paper.

what am i doing?

There are so many things that a bigger than i am.
1311 hewitt avenue.
my boxy purgatory
just wait, i am watching
and there are lives ending everywhere
was it all worth it?
i really hope it's all worth it.

i am scared.

confidence fades.

and today i made a conscious decision to write about you
be flattered.
i seem to be good at that.

i want a dog

. . . or a fox.

maps

we knew our surroundings way too well
the things people say
the way things smell
the decisions we would have made
so we drove north.
In the morning i felt like gangrene had set in.
I felt my body turning itself inside out.
But i was not bothered.
because for a few hours i was the unknown variable
we saw the lights and hoped we didn't hit the border.
or the water.
the symbols our gas station cartographer drew looked like
.
.
.

.
.
.

i think they were stoplights.
we accomplished this right of passage
and getting back into the predictable state of everyday will be that much harder.